Caligula trailer Most of the

Caligula trailer

Most of the surviving human race lives on New Caprica, a grim Salusa Secundus rock of a planet, which is now occupied by the Cylons who claim to be coming in peace to help humanity. Were I czar, the sainted George Lucas would be summoned to my court and asked to explain himself he would be made all the more nervous, no doubt, by the sight of Alan Dershowitz chained to a post, forced to feed very small bacon bits to a wolverine one at a time, using only his lips. It s a shame, because in yesterday s Washington Post there was at least one mention of a pressing issue which transcends the tired dichotomies of Left and Right, liberal and conservative, Third Way and, uh, Negative Third Way. The politics of failure have failed! What s the from? Romulan and Klingon, Borg and Species 3472 or whatever that number is, Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton s pants can all agree on this one issue. It is the Miller Lite of American politics, both filling less and tasting great. If I were Tsar, George Lucas would be first up against the wall, and not only because he s the only greaser besides the current Bowser in the year 200 I would write a song about it, but I don t know what rhymes with, Shut the Fuck up! You should have just stayed in my Childhood, George, why d you have to come back when I knew what a good movie is with fucking Jar Jar Binks? Jar Jar is the work of a hack. If you look up hack in the dictionary, it says, To invent Jar Jar. An irony-off ends in confusion. But isn t the sincerest post the most ironic of all? Captain T kicks butt. Sadly, commenters got punked No!. The Editors can respond with nothing less than a video of Jackbooted Liberals waterboarding Jonah G. First, Jar Jar Binks, the digitally animated character, is just plain awful just as I suspected. If he had been so brutally murdered during the course of the film that Phantom Menace got an NC 17 rating, it would have been worth it. By riddling the movie with silly jokes the inane color commentary at the pod race, the ragamuffins shouts of yippee! and of course the excremental Jar-Jar Binks Lucas punctured the illusion of the entire Star Wars universe. Now for the good news. The total movie is awesome. What Lucas did to Phantom Menace would be considered a crime against the throne, the people, and posterity. And to switch gears for a moment there are no midgets either. I have no problems with little people or whatever the preferred term for them is these days but, let s face it, the only thing they have in common with hobbits, or even dwarfs, is their problem is that human midgets move like, well, human midgets. Their awkwardness makes them uncomfortable to watch and unbelievable as a separate race. On some of the very wide shots they clearly use a few midgets as stand-ins, but you really have to be looking for them. I bring this up because, well, the midget thing always bugged me, but more importantly because Peter Jackson clearly spared no expense in trying to make this film believable. I love a good quadrotriticale joke. A lot of Charlie Tuna and no battle rap. White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism When they came for the midgets, I said nothing. Charlie the Tuna seemed to have a lot to say, so I just let him. In addition to the plaintive chirps of crickets, the Afrikakorp of LIberal Fascism. the spinoff Binksian/Annakinasian toy empire and to starve the beast while making the other poor dumb bastards die for our country John Boss Nass McCain would now be plotting a competent and effective liberal fascist government which would certainly doom our great Nation. I was trying to think of something funny to say, but then I read When they came for the midgets, I said nothing. Charlie the Tuna seemed to have a lot to say, so I just let him and realised there was nothing left. White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism and when they came for the guys who do that mime routine you know, the one where you re stuck inside that invisible box? nobody would speak up for me. I vote for 3Bulls incoherence. Charlie Tuna is way too much work for the desired effect. There is no way I am maxing out at more that half-assed incoherence. I vote for pants du trolles. That s the final straw, someone mentioned mimes. Those silent mother fuckers. Seriously, that Penn and Teller guy in the kitchen at the 5:00 mark is positively scary: OT: I know you re Airwolf to the grave, but a moment of silence for Blue Thunder s pilot. Roy Scheider dead at Authorities are questioning Airwolf, but no foul play is suspected. You re gonna need a bigger boat.